", Little Johnny was struggling with his school grades. "Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple. She grounded him. Reggie Miller has a strange pre-game routine, to say the least. It means the car wont start., A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. Little Johnny returns from the market with his mother. Because the ax was in georges hands.. "Little Johnny: Bottom right corner., Teacher: "If 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4? "Johnny: "But miss, you said that it is never too late to learn. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. Johnny: "9." Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Johnny: "36." And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. Thats right Johnny, but you still counted your fingers behind your back, lets try this again, but this time put your hands in your pockets and tell me whats five plus five? The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? Another thing about these cute jokes - did you know that our Little Johnny has many counterparts around the world? The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow. 'Well, I just use their last name. The next week, the guy picks her up for their evening out dressed in a biker's black leathers. One day, Little Johnny told his parents that he was ready to live alone. Cant argue with him there. ", Teacher: "Who can tell me where Hadrians' Wall is? "Wow, but did he eat twenty candy bars in a single sitting?" The next week, the guy picks her up for their evening out dressed in a biker's black leathers. There was another pair exactly like this one at home." ", While grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers. ", A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? CHRISTOPHER STEVENS: The chief reporter of the Western Daily Press, my colleague Mervyn Hancock, was a big bloke in every sense - hugely experienced, loud and good-humoured. Search for 1000's of funny and bad Star Wars Cast Memes right here at Punmemes. ", Little Johnny and Silly Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like little boys all over the world. Every time he tried to eat the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you.' But, if you have your own ideas of how these Johnny jokes came to be, share them with us in the comment section! The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. #4. ", Teacher: "What is further away, Australia or the Moon?". ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, how do you spell "elephant"? Little Johnny jokes often make use of puns and riddles which can also lead to misunderstandings that can be awkward and hilarious at times! Just is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother? "The teacher replies "I have no idea Johnny, why don't you tell us how do you put 7 holes into one hole? I see why they kicked him out of there., Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Johnny: One dollar. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Johnny: And you dont know my father!, Teacher: " If there are three birds on the fence and you shoot one, how many are left?" The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. Principal: "What is 3 x 3. ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! "Johnny: "Is god in my back garden? . I have two half-siblings.. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, "Can't Approve Overtime? Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?, Little Johnny's teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. says Johnny to his friends ", Teacher: "Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested? A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. Little Johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. "Little Johnny: "Another reindeer! "Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence? ", Teacher: "According to native lore a man rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb tree. Yelled Billy. His mother asks "What on earth are you doing Johnny? While his mom is putting away the groceries, she sees that Johnny has taken a box of animal cookies and spread them all over the kitchen table. After a few days, his teacher calls up Little Johnny's dad to report that Johnny has been behaving badly at school. That's one of the short adult jokes. 'Take Your Time' by Sam Hunt. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. After all those years, Ive gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far too scratchy., Teacher: "I told you to stand at the end of the line? Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. Sometimes I ask myself this question too, Little Johnny. They have the same dog! Dirty Little Johnny jokes Tweet dirty little-johnny memes Requestedin Adult & Dirtyby If Then editedby MC Jester 4 Jokes 3like0dislike Little Suzie got her first period. Doctor: You're obese. , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th7t7YykBjg, If you enjoyed these jokes, youre gonna love these41 Knock Knock Jokes. "Teacher: "Good, now name another. Johnny says: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose, and really beautiful eyes. He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a darn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can and I think can! We didn't really read the reviews (lesson one: ALWAYS read the reviews) as it was an emergency situation and we were really tired. ""From my Daddy," said Johnny. He walks up to her and says, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!". "Johnny: "Oh, I just remembered he got reposted to Goa. Little Johnny's family is sitting at the dinner table. So he asks his mom. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. "Little Johnny replied: "I can't. "Mom: "Why not? Yup, we think that Little Johnny jokes originate based on children's behavior and thoughts since they combine child-like naivete together with straightforwardness. Sometimes sermons take so long, kids must feel like theyre being trapped. ", Because cats haven't knocked everything off the edges, Little Johnny: "Mummy, mummy, does a lemon have a beak? Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland? Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending. "Little Johnny: "I suspect it's around Hadrian's garden!". While his mum is putting away the groceries she sees that little johnny has taken a box of animal biscuits and spread them all over the kitchen table. "Teacher: "That's not right, you'd have eight. Daily Jokes 35.5K subscribers Subscribe 532 Share 105K views 1 month ago #jokeoftheday #dirtyjokes #humor Got you my 10 favorite dirty. "Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network! ", Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?Little Johnny: My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep. A son tells his father: "I have an imaginary girlfriend.". "Johnny replies: "I got a ticket from my sister. she asked. One day he surprises his teacher with an announcement. Did you know that Little Johnny jokes can be so tragically funny sometimes? If you shoot one, the other two will fly away", Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? No butter for you for one month! says his dad. Just a normal day at school and the teacher asked little Johnny, whats two plus two? Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. ", Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please? A big list of little johnny jokes! ", Teacher: "If 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4? "Johnny: "The dog refused to. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral., My family members "passed away" so many times in high school , Little Johnny wonders why his dad is bald. Top 10 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. So that's why teachers can be b*tchy some daysthey have 7 holes up theirs. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. He said that if he hit the lottery, then he would have a secretary to answer the question. ", Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! But men can fake a whole relationship. "Little Johnny: "Yes, teacher one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is? You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." Me?, Little Johnny was sitting on the pavement stuffing all of his Halloween candy into his mouth. Little johnny says i wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best girl with me, give her a ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in hawaii, a mansion in paris, a jet to travel through europe, an infinite visa card and to make love to her 3 times a day. "It's just like with Santa Claus. ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.. "Little Johnny, "Dear God. 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