Before we went back to the office she mentioned we should do dinner next time. If there's a group i go, but never alone. Maybe I am oblivious to these things but I am pretty sure no married woman has ever tried to hit on me (and I don't blame them!!). Melrich and HellFrost, are there any red flags you've noticed with married women trying to hit on you or set up an inappropriate situation to see if you'd go along with an affair? Drinking in someone's home - a woman with several men - husband not present - wife gets pissy when questioned - enough is drunk that the person can't drive and needs to sleep it off. Besides the going out drinking with male coworkers none of her behavior seems like she values or respects you. Ironically, one of the single men I worked with got fired for a ridiculously blown out of proportion sexual harassment claim while this was going on. Before anybody screams "get real," I'm sure people hook up but I'm just saying not all men are on the prowl, etc. Tinder, the popular dating app, is no longer just for hookups. Is he doing it to wind u up, even if only partially. Her work friends invite her out. Hence, it's difficult to discuss matters with men about their failing marriage. What if your life partner and an acquaintance, sports fans both, watched the Big Game by themselves? 9. 14. Welcome to the Digital Spy forums. She declined. I'm [43F]now and my husband is [46M] and we've been married for almost 20 years. Thanks Ren, that was sweet of you to say. reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2013): A She also said she thought I would be asleep the whole time at that time in the morning (usually am) so that she thought Iwouldn'tt worry since I would be asleep. L143myself She use to be a cyber girl some years back, before she had an interest to work, its strange how people change through the years. Did he actually love me? Bill, by his own account, responded that there was no way a repairman was getting into his house when the only other person home was his wife. She replied saying "omg its just my two co-workers and some people they live with, not a big deal" and then "Maybe you should come out with us if you are worried about me. :(. I would not be okay with that if the behavior were repeated over and over. He asked me and DC's to stay with his family in the summer. . No big deal. . If there's one way to get over a bad relationship, it's to go on the rebound. Drinking can lower inhibitions. He Compliments You A Lot. None of my sources hold especially conservative beliefs about sexual relationships or roles. We have been happily married for many years, and neither she nor I feel comfortable with a female employee going for drinks with mostly males. It's possible that he'll get upset when you tell him the truth. I think he was flattered with the attention. In addition, no one should be driving home after two or more drinks. Drinking in someone's home - a woman with several men - husband not present - wife gets pissy when questioned - enough is drunk that the person can't drive and needs to sleep it off. All rights reserved. "A woman drinking with a group of . People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks. Now, I do find the times off, but I guess that comes with nightshifts. Started November 26, 2022, By @Donielle Michele, you are not lying. However, if she smiles more at you than other people around you, there may be something there. Maybe. It pains me when I see how disposable people think marriage is. I guess my question is, keeping in mind this is the first time this has happened, are my sensibilities incorrect? So, obviously unconscious and occupying a bed in another person's house with various men there, including even non-coworkers (perhaps complete strangers to her; perhaps one of them is a very special person indeed). Thats up to the three of you to decide. Several said theyd be uncomfortable if their spouse or partner engaged in certain interactions without them and/or felt their spouses might not be happy with them if they did the same. Is it not possible that OP's wife doesn't have many friends? 6. pastoralcucumbers If he wants to see her, suggest she comes round for dinner and drinks at yours. My heart, however, says I would go completely nuts if this was my DH. I told her again it was too late for me to come out. Nobodies going to win at this back and forth anger, remarks and hurt. I believe there are other factors to take into consideration. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number. My entire career I've gone out with guys alone, even on business trips, and I've never had a married coworker hit on me or do anything inappropriate. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. All contents 2023 The Slate Group LLC. If youd like to join in, please sign in or register. Its way to stressful to be the sender and receiver. Her chance for happiness hinges on a future that is highly uncertain, to say the least. I'm just listening and taking it all in. That should be an obvious sign you're dating a married man. You said that right from the off you told him you didn't like them socialising alone and you said she was annoying. I don't agree, I think different generations see things a bit differently. The Supreme Courts 2003 Lawrence v. Texas decision legalized all consensual sex between adults. He called and asked her out away from work. So draw that boundary that doesn't allow them opportunities to flirt or say/do things that might lead you down that road. When you meet up with them, let your feelings known about the inappropriateness of asking a married man out for drinks alone and breaking the rules going over budget to go overboard for said married man's gift. You both need to calm down and communicate to each other what your needs are and go from there. In this article, we'll explore the pros and cons of using TikTok for mental health advice. I saw the texts. I wake up at like 5:30 am not feeling well and notice she is not home. Maybe he knew you wouldnt like it but needed someone else to speak to if they are as rough as you say. All Rights Reserved. Another man wondered if watching a sporting event with an unattached woman would somehow imply that his own wife was in some way undesirable because she didnt like sports. I feel very vulnerable because I'm single. If he directed as much energy at your relationship (taking you out in the evening and focusing on / verbalising your good points and attractiveness) I am sure your rough patch would improve. And to be honest, if you want to succeed in business (and not by having sex with the higher ups), then you need to behave professionally in all circumstances and not flirt. Maybe it wouldnt bother you if your spouse were home with a repair personbut what if he/she mentioned stopping by a single colleagues house to finish up a project they were working on together? Married male workers are having drinks with female co-workers without their wives present, after all. I think it can get to the point where someone is just too paranoid to treat their married colleague like a human being. There was no reason for you to say you didn't feel comfortable with it in the first place. Communication is very important and a lot of things can go wrong without it. I think, just my opinion, the issue is how you both communicate. She did tell you and invite you. I think you two should definitely sit down and have a discussion and set some boundaries. First of all, I won't judge you if you're that man, but the Bible does tell us that if a man marries, he will forsake other relationships in favour of his wife. Yes, this includes more than just our parents - it includes other women as well. The fact you have not been allowed to meet her and get to know her makes me feel uncomfortable. No-fault divorce laws were widely adopted in the 1970s, which is also around the time that adultery prosecutions became increasingly unheard of. Thanks. While this can be a helpful resource for some, others are using these platforms to self-diagnose and potentially harm their mental health. How would he feel if you were regularly getting yourself done up to go out with a hot male "friend" of yours for dinner, who he was forbidden to meet, leaving him at home alone with the kids? I act in a professional manner but I am not constantly vigilante about how to interact with a male colleague. From here on out, it's about being emotionally and financially protected. Feb 4, 2012. On the one hand, I'm very street smart and I know how to tell if a married man is hitting on me. "I . We worked together for about 6 months, and he currently works with another mutual ex-coworker in my city of residence. NO WAY I get off work at 2 am and am gonna go drinking much less with male coworkers if I'm a married woman and my husband is at home. My husband has female friends but they are friends. While they may say it's strictly friendship, it usually always ends up in bed at one time or another if they're going out like that without their partner. Am I being gas lighted? going out alone indicates infedlity " potentially" or alcoholism. Married men are just like unmarried men.in fact they were unmarried men until they got married. I take it she will know nothing about it? Tell them you're tired and going back to your room (alone) early, and don't party or drink with them alone. Is my new friend a flirt or is he interested? reader, loony89+, writes (12 September 2013): A Your husband is being unreasonable. It would be one thing if she was apologetic about it. 3) She has lost interest in you. Our R M Mavash. I feel really grateful for all the feedback. In this article, we'll explore why the Goblin Mode dating strategy is such a success. But she didn't do that, she turned it all around on him. And several people copped to knowing that they wouldnt be worried about their partners time with another man/woman if the interloper in question was notably unattractive. He said he didn't feel the same way but I wasn't allowed to meet her because it would make her uncomfortable! I feel bad for you for beating on yourself for something that was beyond your control. No, not OK. I agree with the poster above who said the signs are usually pretty easy to read and I think your radar is in tune enough not to miss them. lavenderdove and COtuner, you both bring up good points. Need Advice! Am I being a typical insecure guy on this? Candice Watters. He said all the classic lines, such as telling me he and his wife no longer had sex and that she no longer was in love with him, that she didn't understand him the way I did, that he was going to get divorced from his wife and wanted to be with me, etc. Legalized all consensual sex between adults t get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks,!, there may be something there sex between adults about 6 months, and he works. 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